Newsvine
  • Welcome
  • Help
  • Report Bug
  • Conversation Tracker
  • Your Column
  • Replies
  • Friends
Type Comments Since You Last CheckedArticle Source Last Checked Stop Tracking All Clear Tracking All
Advertise | AdChoices
Log In | Register
Close the Login Panel
Existing users log in below. New users please register for a free account.

New Users:

Existing Users:

E-Mail:
Password:
Forgot Password?
Please enter the e-mail address or domain name you registered with:
E-Mail/Domain:
Back to Login
Log Out
  • Top News
  • Local News
  • World
  • U.S.
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Tech
  • Entertainment
  • Science
  • Business
  • Health
  • Odd News
  • More
    • Arts
    • Education
    • Environment
    • Fashion
    • History
    • Home & Garden
    • Not News
    • Religion
    • Travel
Visit lauhal's column >>

LAUHAL

Articles Posted: 55  Links Seeded: 1894
Member Since: 2/2006  Last Seen: 5/18/2012

What is Newsvine?

Updated continuously by citizens like you, Newsvine is an instant reflection of what the world is talking about at any given moment.

Get a Free Account
Help
Fun Stuff
  • Your Clippings
  • Leaderboard
  • E-Mail Alerts
  • Top of the Vine
  • Newsvine Live
  • Newsvine Archives
  • The Greenhouse
  • Recommended Articles
  • Wall of Vineness
Put a Seed Newsvine link on your own site

The 10th Funny Day of Christmas: Oh, what to do with those Newsvine earnings.

Tue Dec 22, 2009 3:58 PM EST
odd-news, money, newsvine, earnings, christmas, gifts, treasures, giving-back, tfd09, funny-days-of-christmas, good-american, being-supportive
By lauhal

Live Poll

Which gift rocks your boat?

View Results
  • 75885
    Gotta be the Forker.
    26%
  • 75886
    I love that Mistletoe headband. *smooch*
    16%
  • 75887
    All hail the FSM!
    21%
  • 75888
    Squirrel feet earrings do it for me.
    21%
  • 75889
    Car-Pet. Get it?
    11%
  • 75890
    Fruitcake. Don't ask.
    5%

VoteTotal Votes: 19

It's sterling silver, people!

Make out with me. Please.

He's the reasoning for the seasoning.

Number one on my wish list.

Now my baby has some company!

Advertise | AdChoices

I've been a member of Newswine since February of 2006. Each month for nearly four years, I've earned money for participating in and contributing to the Newsvine community. Just imagine the haul I've made in that time! I don't want to brag, but many of you would be quite jealous to discover the extent of my earnings.

In today's economy, additional income is certainly welcome and appreciated. When I see that monthly earnings report, my imagination goes wild. I wonder. I dream. What sorts of fantastic treasures might I purchase?

The holidays have a way of making one nostalgic. I took a look back at some of the objects of my desire.

9/26/06 $1.10August Distribution

Gosh! $1.10! Let’s go shopping! With a little planning, you can add some pizazz to your holiday table. What family wouldn’t love one of these little beauties?! Come on! It’s sterling silver! It's bound to make that standing rib roast taste even more scrumptious. Destined to become a cherished family heirloom. The bidding starts at $.99, so I have plenty of money to spare if someone doesn’t swoop in and outbid me and crush my dream.

6/17/07 $10.78 April Distribution

Can you believe this?! It’s like winning the lottery. What else screams “class” like a "Make Out with Me" mistletoe headband? Well, I can’t think of anything. There's something special about kissing your family members, right? I'll be the talk of the party! At only $8.00, I can still afford an ice-cold bottle of Zima pineapple-citrus. Life is good, eh?

3/20/08 $36.85 January Distribution

Sometimes you have a huge month on Newsvine. You realize that all that cash is there for the taking. You just have to reach out and grab it. Hey, a girl has dreams. Newsvine may as well help me fulfill them. I am very grateful for the massive amounts of free cash I receive. I thank the one above for it every day. In fact, I used my Newsvine earnings to pay homage to the supernatural creator. R’Amen!

The economy has taken a turn for the worse. You have two choices. You can whine & snivel about it, or you can help out the good old U.S. of A. by pumping money back into the economy. I have chosen to help America by investing my hard-earned cash into the very essence of out great nation. Yes, that means hand-made crafts. It means hand-made crafts sold from someone’s basement. It means hand-made crafts sold from someone’s basement in your neighborhood. What do I know? It could be you.

Giving back is what it’s all about. Sure, I receive some baubles, but I also get the satisfaction of knowing I’ve helped out another human being. Damn, that feels good!

I’m saving up for some items on my Newsvine earnings wish list.

I love animals. I love jewelry. Who knew I could have both?

I believe that my car gets lonely. Now, she’ll have some company.

I love me some jewelry!

When you're agonizing over that perfect gift, remember that there are some talented people out there who can benefit from your support. Plus, imaging the look on your gift recipient's face when you give them that little something special. Knowing that you've put your Newsvine earnings to good use should give you the warm fuzzies. Work hard and you too can pull down some major cash that will surely make you or someone you love very, very happy.

Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Happy Kwanzaa. Happy Holidays.

  • Enjoy this article? Help vote it up the 'Vine.

Back To Top | Front Page

Published to:

  • lauhal's Column, All of Newsvine
  • Groups: Sweeter Fennel
  • Regions: none
  • Public Discussion (100)
lauhal

CoH, pretty please.

I'm at the hospital. (My partner is having knee surgery.) So, I may not be around until later this afternoon. Have fun. Play nice. :)

  • 7 votes
Reply#1 - Tue Dec 22, 2009 4:01 PM EST
Red Wolf

Good luck with the surgery.

As you're likely to be the one to run off and fetch the crutches post-surgery, keep an eye out for a grown up version of one of those robot grabber toys. When my knees were out of action for a week or so, I would have killed for one of those things.

  • 5 votes
#1.1 - Tue Dec 22, 2009 4:22 PM EST
Scott (Scoop) Butki

Best wishes for the surgery

happy holidays

fun piece.

  • 2 votes
#1.2 - Tue Dec 22, 2009 7:11 PM EST
Little Sure Shot

I have had surgery twice on the same knee. I wish your partner a speedy recovery.

  • 2 votes
#1.3 - Tue Dec 22, 2009 7:51 PM EST
lauhal

I appreciate the sentiments, everyone. Surgery is done. She's in the recovery area. I'm waiting to sit with the surgeon.

  • 4 votes
#1.4 - Tue Dec 22, 2009 7:55 PM EST
Karl_

What a singular seed! LOL

It is certainly original. May your partner recover quickly, and Happy Everything to you and yours!

  • 4 votes
#1.5 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 8:28 AM EST
Walt D

Not seed. Not singular.

  • 6 votes
#1.6 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 9:22 AM EST
Karl_

Walt D

Not seed. Not singular.

"Not seed": True. My apologies. It is an article.

"Not singular": I do not understand what you mean here....

Here are two definitions that "define:singular" invoked from Google Search:

  • remarkable: unusual or striking; "a remarkable sight"; "such poise is singular in one so young"
  • curious: beyond or deviating from the usual or expected
  • 4 votes
#1.7 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 9:28 AM EST
Walt D

"Not singular": I do not understand what you mean here....

There are nine other parts to this series and two more to come. Sort of a sloppy attempt at a pun. Disregard.

  • 8 votes
#1.8 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 9:42 AM EST
lauhal

Thanks Karl! That picture you linked is hilarious. Love the gold tooth!

Walt - You bastard. I am singular. Deal with it. :0 Pffft!

  • 8 votes
#1.9 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 9:43 AM EST
ricksuth

Little Sure Shot, I'll see your two on one knee and raise you one on the other. That was a long year

  • 2 votes
#1.10 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 2:31 PM EST
lauhal

What are you guys? Tackling dummies? Yikes! That's too much. :0

  • 3 votes
#1.11 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 3:31 PM EST
LaeF1

Pffft!

there she goes, passing gas online again...

  • 4 votes
#1.12 - Thu Dec 24, 2009 1:29 AM EST
Walt D

there she goes, passing gas online again...

It's melting my monitor!

  • 4 votes
#1.13 - Thu Dec 24, 2009 7:40 PM EST
Reply
Lilith41

Merry Christmas and very uplifting seed, Lauhal. You are right, the best gift is to give to others...... I knew that because I do it too.... =)

Thank you.

PS I wish your partner has a safe and speedy recovery. Take care.

  • 3 votes
Reply#2 - Tue Dec 22, 2009 4:15 PM EST
PaladinUSA (redux)

but I also get the satisfaction of knowing I’ve helped out another human being. Damn, that feels good!

And that is what enriches us the most, after all is said and done.

Speedy health to your loved one.

  • 3 votes
Reply#3 - Tue Dec 22, 2009 4:20 PM EST
rwarner

YOU are a treasure!!

Good luck to the partner!!

  • 5 votes
Reply#4 - Tue Dec 22, 2009 4:26 PM EST
LaeF1

enema bags make good stocking stuffers...

"i love your earrings!"
"thanks!, they're squirrels feet!"

I picked 'the forker' on the poll, bc i thought it referred to something else entirely...

i'm bout to swoop into my ebay account and crush your dreams. ;-)

that is all.

  • 5 votes
Reply#5 - Tue Dec 22, 2009 4:30 PM EST
lauhal

Don't you dare!!!

  • 4 votes
#5.1 - Tue Dec 22, 2009 7:56 PM EST
Karl_

enema bags make good stocking stuffers...

Warning. Some readers may find this link offensive: Why settle for copper when you could get some blings?

  • 6 votes
#5.2 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 8:24 AM EST
lauhal

OMG! The comments alone are worth it!

  • 5 votes
#5.3 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 9:47 AM EST
ricksuth

I Chose Car-Pet because I thought of a part of the female body, (I'm sorry ;))

  • 3 votes
#5.4 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 2:27 PM EST
lauhal

Hahahaha. Well, with a little modification...

  • 2 votes
#5.5 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 3:32 PM EST
rwarner

I did too:)

  • 3 votes
#5.6 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 4:01 PM EST
HoneyBee-1239445

Thanks Karl, I'll never be the same, and I might never get that image outta my head!

The wierdest thing I've ever seen was a penis that had been surgically halved with rings through the heads strung with chains going to the nipples. Not in person mind you, but from a book someone brought to work. "It" supposedly still works. Makes me wince thinking about it.

  • 1 vote
#5.7 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 11:57 PM EST
lauhal

Gawd, that's gross. Why? Seriously. Why?

  • 3 votes
#5.8 - Thu Dec 24, 2009 12:00 AM EST
LaeF1

i did it for attention. :-/

  • 4 votes
#5.9 - Thu Dec 24, 2009 1:32 AM EST
Reply
Walt D

Is there a mistletoe belt buckle?

  • 9 votes
Reply#6 - Tue Dec 22, 2009 4:36 PM EST
rwarner

I am so not letting you wear that to work!

  • 5 votes
#6.1 - Tue Dec 22, 2009 4:52 PM EST
lauhal

*snert* It is a head band...

  • 5 votes
#6.2 - Tue Dec 22, 2009 7:56 PM EST
Reply
lauhal

Update:

12/15/09
$2.00
October Distribution

Now what can I buy?!

  • 6 votes
Reply#7 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 12:20 AM EST
Red Wolf

Would you like a boiled lolly, little girl?

  • 6 votes
#7.1 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 1:48 AM EST
Paul William Tenny
12/15/09$20.54October Distribution

Crisp.

  • 4 votes
#7.2 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 9:08 AM EST
Paul William Tenny

Oh, and for what it's worth, that's going to pay for the domain name of a new blog.

  • 4 votes
#7.3 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 9:14 AM EST
lauhal

Sweet! Are you sure you don't want to save up for those squirrel feet earrings for that someone special?

  • 5 votes
#7.4 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 9:48 AM EST
Paul William Tenny

Those things scare me :o

  • 4 votes
#7.5 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 2:40 PM EST
lauhal

Imagine how the squirrel feels.

  • 3 votes
#7.6 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 3:32 PM EST
rwarner

I heard that the Rolling Acorn Home for Handi-Capable squirrels is really nice.

  • 3 votes
#7.7 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 4:02 PM EST
lauhal

*snert* You're a nut.

  • 3 votes
#7.8 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 4:07 PM EST
Reply
SheepleOf1

dollar store?

  • 2 votes
Reply#8 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 12:33 AM EST
lauhal

LOL...NOW you're talking! hahaha

  • 1 vote
#8.1 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 12:40 AM EST
Reply
Pasi

I hope her knee gets well. I'm just waiting if I have to take the same. The noice, which kneeing produces is a little sinister.

Luckily Han Moo Do rules do not allow kicking on legs, but only torso (and head where I have nothing to loose).

  • 3 votes
Reply#9 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 1:38 AM EST
Uncle Nick

Squirrel foot earrings??? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

  • 5 votes
Reply#10 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 1:44 AM EST
lauhal

Yes. You like? Imagine the look on her face when you present those dangly bits. :)

  • 3 votes
#10.1 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 9:50 AM EST
HoneyBee-1239445

Imagine the look on the squirrels face when it realizes what they used it's feet for!

  • 3 votes
#10.2 - Thu Dec 24, 2009 12:00 AM EST
lauhal

OMG...the humanity! Or would that be the mammality?

  • 3 votes
#10.3 - Thu Dec 24, 2009 12:26 AM EST
Uncle Nick

You know... I have some real redneck relatives (yes, very rural Arkansas!)... but I really can't picture any of them having the least bit of desire for squirrel earrings...

  • 5 votes
#10.4 - Thu Dec 24, 2009 12:53 AM EST
Atsidi

Have heard that squirrel stew is pretty tasty though. Maybe that is where the earrings come from, just dried feet that didn't get put in the stew. Very resourceful those country boys.

  • 2 votes
#10.5 - Thu Dec 24, 2009 12:59 AM EST
Reply
Dennis P. McCannDeleted
rottlady

I want a car pet! Then I all need is a car!

  • 5 votes
Reply#12 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 5:12 AM EST
Walt D

A couple centuries of NV earnings should buy a Ford Focus.

  • 6 votes
#12.1 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 9:24 AM EST
lauhal

I want a car pet! Then I all need is a car.

Don't get bogged down in the details. Just get one and perhaps a car will come to you! ;)


  • 5 votes
#12.2 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 9:53 AM EST
rottlady

Good advice!

  • 4 votes
#12.3 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 10:04 AM EST
Reply
Kara Shalee

You could always purchase some legwarmers, slippers, gloves, hats, scarfs, and sweats at the drugstore of your choice. Those weren't in your poll. But they would help to keep you and your S.O. warm in this bitter cold..........and your NV earnings could help you get all of that! Unless you can make all of it by hand, in which case, you can cut out a lot of shopping!

Good luck on all counts................and Happy Holidays!!

  • 2 votes
Reply#13 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 6:56 AM EST
lauhal

I can't even make a pot-holder. :(

  • 2 votes
#13.1 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 9:53 AM EST
Reply
jaker023

that's funny. I tell my friends that I've earned money to take them all out to McDonald's and they each can pick something from the dollar value menu.

since I'm on Newsvine for fun, I would donate the money to one of their charities.

or you could buy a controlling stake in GM (now Motors Liquidation - ticker MTLQQ.pk). it last traded for about $0.50. they stock is essentially worthless, but folks keep trading it for no other reason than speculation.

  • 1 vote
Reply#14 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 7:45 AM EST
lauhal

Oh...a stake in a car company...for 50 cents! Talk about an investment. I'll have to consult my accountant first. :)

  • 2 votes
#14.1 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 9:55 AM EST
Reply
Kimberly-430040

I bought a condo in New York with mine....the joint next door is for sale! Maybe you could use your earnings to by the other flat? We could be neighbors=)

  • 4 votes
Reply#15 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 1:10 PM EST
lauhal

Sweet! I'll bring some booze. :0

  • 3 votes
#15.1 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 1:51 PM EST
Reply
Atsidi

Just checked, I have a whole $17.67 in my account. Have been waiting for them to put my favorite charity up. Was told by mgmt. that they would when enough people requested it

  • 3 votes
Reply#16 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 1:15 PM EST
Kimberly-430040

Whats the fav charity Atsidi?

  • 3 votes
#16.1 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 1:20 PM EST
Atsidi

Heifer International.

  • 2 votes
#16.2 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 1:56 PM EST
rwarner

That is a great charity!!

  • 3 votes
#16.3 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 2:01 PM EST
Atsidi

I really think so. At least they try to solve a problem in some other way besides just throwing money at it. The problem they are trying to address is arguably the most pressing problem there is right now.

  • 3 votes
#16.4 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 2:05 PM EST
Kimberly-430040

That is a wonderful charity...gifting gifts that keep on giving.

  • 3 votes
#16.5 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 2:16 PM EST
Atsidi

So how many of us have to talk it up before Calvin will add it to the list of charities?

  • 3 votes
#16.6 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 2:24 PM EST
Kimberly-430040

I don't know Atsidi but that is one I would donate my Newsvine earned fortune to.

  • 3 votes
#16.7 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 2:28 PM EST
Atsidi

Me too, I figure it is like money in the bank and sooner or later he will put it up. Can't have all us old farts dying off and just leave the money in the account causing extra paper work. Besides, I might need the tax deduction.

  • 3 votes
#16.8 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 2:32 PM EST
Kimberly-430040

Besides, I might need the tax deduction.

You are funny!

  • 3 votes
#16.9 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 3:11 PM EST
lauhal

WTF. Don't you dare keel over here. I can't bear to clean up the mess. Right now, I'd be apt to throw a holiday tablecloth over you & call it a day. ;)

  • 4 votes
#16.10 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 3:34 PM EST
lauhal

Seriously, the Heifer International idea is excellent. What a good organization. I guess I may have to forgo a couple of items on my dream list. *sigh*

  • 2 votes
#16.11 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 3:35 PM EST
Atsidi

Cool! At least you're not stuck trying to find photo files that you can't remember where you filed them.

I don't plan on kicking over, but then I don't know how long it will take them to get around to adding another charity either.

  • 3 votes
#16.12 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 3:49 PM EST
Reply
yasmin

So funny. You realize it's taken me two years to get to $60. And only because of a certain set of articles I wrote who knows when. Maybe someday again...

I have some catching up to do.

And I hope your partner is doing better!

  • 3 votes
Reply#17 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 8:23 PM EST
rwarner

We Wish You a Merry♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ Christmas♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪We Wish You a Merry ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪Christmas ♥ ♥ ♥We Wish You A Merry ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪Christmas ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪...And A Happy New Year!♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

  • 5 votes
Reply#18 - Wed Dec 23, 2009 9:45 PM EST
lauhal

Thanks, Robin!

  • 2 votes
#18.1 - Thu Dec 24, 2009 12:28 AM EST
Reply
azsky13

Definitely the squirrel feet earrings, but I would get them for my sister. She once had an unfortunate incident with a squirrel who got in her house....

  • 3 votes
Reply#19 - Thu Dec 24, 2009 12:10 AM EST
lauhal

Sounds like a Bad News Monday article, no? :)

  • 2 votes
#19.1 - Thu Dec 24, 2009 12:27 AM EST
azsky13

haha! maybe so...

  • 3 votes
#19.2 - Thu Dec 24, 2009 5:30 PM EST
lauhal

Hey...there's a group for just about everything!

Whatcha doing tonight?

  • 3 votes
#19.3 - Thu Dec 24, 2009 6:06 PM EST
azsky13

Have nothing planned. Think I am staying in until the snow storm passes. I was supposed to drive down tonight and have Christmas dinner with my Mom, but would have been driving into the storm. I already did some shoveling here. Got home from work and they had cleaned the parking lot, but plowed in my garage...

So what are you doing?

  • 3 votes
#19.4 - Thu Dec 24, 2009 6:32 PM EST
lauhal

We opened gifts. Now we're chilling.
It's raining here...on top of the snow and ice!
We can drink online together.

  • 4 votes
#19.5 - Thu Dec 24, 2009 7:41 PM EST
Walt D

We can drink online together.

Robin and I are way ahead of you. Wait...strike that...you started this morning, didn't you?

  • 3 votes
#19.6 - Thu Dec 24, 2009 7:49 PM EST
azsky13

Deal.. but I may run out of booze. I never made it to the liquer store. I pooped out after I had to clear the ridge of snow in front of my garage after they plowed.

  • 2 votes
#19.7 - Thu Dec 24, 2009 9:13 PM EST
Reply
Rixar13

All the people on newsvine should be making more than Rush Linbaugh......? It's a mystery to me.

  • 3 votes
Reply#20 - Fri Dec 25, 2009 8:33 PM EST
lauhal

Hahahaha! Lots of people like him. *sigh*

  • 3 votes
#20.1 - Fri Dec 25, 2009 8:34 PM EST
Reply
lovetrust

Great article, Lauhal....cheered me up...write owwnn, and have a happy new year....

  • 4 votes
Reply#21 - Sat Dec 26, 2009 8:47 AM EST
Leave a Comment:
You're in Easy Mode. If you prefer, you can use XHTML Mode instead.
You're in XHTML Mode. If you prefer, you can use Easy Mode instead.
(XHTML tags allowed - a,b,blockquote,br,code,dd,dl,dt,del,em,h2,h3,h4,i,ins,li,ol,p,pre,q,strong,ul)
Newsvine Privacy Statement
As a new user, you may notice a few temporary content restrictions. Click here for more info.
FUN STUFF:
  • Leaderboard |
  • E-Mail Alerts |
  • Top of the Vine |
  • Newsvine Live |
  • Newsvine Archives |
  • The Greenhouse |
COMPANY STUFF:
  • Code of Honor |
  • Company Info |
  • Contact Us |
  • Jobs |
  • User Agreement |
  • Privacy Policy |
  • About our ads
LEGAL STUFF:
  • © 2005-2012 Newsvine, Inc. |
  • Newsvine® is a registered trademark of Newsvine, Inc. |
  • Newsvine is a property of msnbc.com